reprinted from the Daily Herald (October, 1996)
by Hillary Chura
The Associated Press

Etiquette coach helps people mind their manners, so others won't

You're at lunch, trying not to embarrass yourself in front of your boss. But you can't remember—Is that your bread plate or the boss' on the left? Where to you put your nose? Is it OK to lick the hollandaise from your knife?

Yes. On your chair. And no, never.

From Chicago to New Orleans and from East Coast to West, adults are paying good money for the answers to these and other etiquette questions.

Americans lacking the social graces—and the experts say there are—want to avoid those embarrassing moments when they're not sure which fork to use, how to introduce people or what to do with business cards they've received.

Gloria Petersen has been teaching etiquette in the Chicago area since 1989, mostly at corporate seminars but now with private clients. She said business has doubled in the last three years.

"People are tired of being boorish," she said.

So for $495 for a day of one-on-one instruction—or $2,000 for a group of up to 50—Petersen will guide people in the finer points of introductions, toasts and dining.

It's money well spent, said human resources executive Tim Janisch, of LaSalle Northwest National Bank, who has sent 60 people to charm school for grownups.

"A lot of our younger employees will be well-equipped with book knowledge, sales skills and computer skills, but what we find they lack is social grace—(and) the reality is that it does still matter," he said.

Nancy Broadhurst, who has taught etiquette to about 600 people in New Orleans over the past two years, says only a fraction of Americans have good manners.

"It's a lost art." she said wistfully.

Initially, workers are not enthusiastic about taking etiquette classes, but eventually they are won over, said Jeff Garton, director of staffing and placement at Kraft Foods in Northfield.

"It just does wonders for your self esteem to do the right thing," he said.

Petersen said clients range from their early 20s to their 50s. She said women need help conducting themselves in the professional world, while men need help with table manners.

Among the tidbits Garton learned; Place your knife and fork at the 4:20 clock position when finished eating.

"I'd heard that's what you should do. I just never paid attention. I just put them on the plate—the knife on one side, the fork on the other," he said.

Dorothea Johnson, founder of the Protocol School of Washington, said she is particularly busy teaching executives how to conduct themselves overseas.

You may be a super salesman, but unless you have a little style and form and courtesy, they're not going to bother with you," Johnson said.

Randy Cross owns an executive placement company in Schaumburg and sends all his clients to Petersen for lessons on that include how to dress, carry themselves, present business cards, shake hands and more.

"It's so hard to get a good, high-paying job outside of a technical job, you need every edge you can get," he said.

"Why jeopardize an important career move like that by some annoying mannerism that you aren't aware of."